single time

My manager nodded towards me and said, "Chris, can you handle this?"

"Yeah," I replied.

"Well, you're not married after all, so you should have the flexibility and time," he concluded.

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...

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WHAT THE FUCK DID HE JUST SAY?????

What the hell has my unmarried life got to do with work? And why the hell do people assume that the single and living alone guy ALWAYS has the time to do extra work??!!!?!?!

M*therf*cker!!!

Think about it. When the married guy goes home at 8pm, when he opens the door, there's dinner waiting for him, nice and warm. Doesnt have to do the laundry either, the missus has got it covered. And guess what, the place is decently clean too.

When the SINGLE guy gets home, the place is EXACTLY as how he left it. If a retarded bird had flown into the apartment moments before he left for work, puked its guts out and died RIGHT THERE on the floor, when the guy gets home, the dead retarded bird will be EXACTLY where it puked it guts out and died.

The single guy has to cook his own dinner. The single guy has to do his own laundry. The single guy has to clean his own place. He has to do EVERY SINGLE FUCKING THING.

HOW THE HELL DO I HAVE TIME FOR ANYTHING ELSE????!?!?!?!!?????

It has suddenly pinged into my brain that perhaps the married man has a working wife and thus she may be a dominating kind of independent woman (rubbish, whatever). But STILL, as a married couple, im pretty sure that they'd at least DIVIDE up some of the chores.

He wouldnt have to do EVERYTHING on his own.

Dont forget the single man is just as he is - SINGLE. This means he has the added pressure of having to make himself attractive to women (national geographic voice-over pls). So he has to either spend an hour styling his hair, or working out at the gym, or finding some way to mutilate his face with needles and metal studs, to find that special someone and get married.

The married man dun have to do that kinda crap. He can just sit there and get fat and slack. So long as she gets as fat as he is, there shouldnt be a problem and the car wont tilt to one side in the morning.

Of course some may argue that if they had KIDS, then yeah, maybe the married guy would have less time. BULLSHIT. I'll bet that by the time they can remember, they'll be locked up in their rooms playing Bioshock or DoTA - which i dont think will take up much of the married man's time. Unless of course, u beat ur kids since young, so they wont turn into spoilt little brats that talk back to you. If it's this, then YEAH, perhaps they'd take up some of the married man's time. After all, nothing soothes the soul like a tight slap across the face of a defiant youth.

So dont u ever dare say that the single guy has more time on his hands.