destruction of dreams...

There is no wake up call better.

Pls do not blame me for the following act of cruelty that I most ecstatically inflicted upon a fellow human being. I'm pretty sure it was due to that movie Inglourious Basterds - watching brad pitt's smug look and seeing german nazis getting killed and burned alive and shit - shit being that some of them got beaten to death with a baseball bat.

Therapeutic cinema at its best. And the extended conversations between characters was perhaps the best i have seen in a long time. THANK GOD FOR QUENTIN TARANTINO - I would like to vote the character of Hans Landa as the character of the year. Its been a while since I've seen a villian so insidiously comedic and yet surgically analytical in his dissection of the good guys. Brilliant stuff. Go watch it, or find some scenes on youtube - surely they have some.

Anyway, I spoke about the destruction of dreams.

As i told a few of my friends, i beat 4 club players at the country club over the weekend, 4 OLD GUYS - probably about 40 plus, but i know one of them was in his mid-30s.

But the part I left out was when I was hitting with this young guy, after my parents left to go to the gym. This guy was Federer reincarnate.

He had the bandanna, the shirt, the pants, the socks, the shoes, the wristband, the racquet, even god-damn-it, even the STRINGS. The only he didnt get frm the GOAT, was god-given TALENT.

They say the clothes make the man. Well they did. His clothes made the man in me UBER FUCKING PISSED for some reason. And so, wearing a snake-like grin, I ask the guy, who was free, to play a set. He says YES. He starts telling me about his "kick" serve... and his follow-thru on the forehand and why hits like Federer. "Because its a more reliable shot"... PLS LAH...

The set lasted about 12-15min tops. And of course, when the dust settled, the smell of freshly baked bagels filled the air. I hit 5 aces in that set, 5 return-of-serve winners, and 3 return-of-serve drop shot winners. And i won all my serve-&-volley points. I almost laughed out loud when I sliced a ball low and he scrapped his BELOVED K-90 on the floor. He missed the shot and immediately checked the racquet.

And when the set was done, as if on CUE, it began to drizzle. I shook the guy's hand and thanked him for letting me kick his ass and then grabbed my stuff and ran for the gym. Didnt look back. Maybe he was standing there in the cold raining crying his heart out and letting his gut strings turn mushy.

Yeah whatever. Events like this CHANGE people. Hopefully, for the better.

In other news, I encountered a RHINO today. Had a rhino fight.

Now, a RHINO FIGHT is similar to a bull fight. The only difference is in a bull fight, you GET OUT OF THE WAY OF BULL. In a RHINO FIGHT, you take the RHINO head on, and see who manages to own the other.

Encountered this rhino in the wilderness of Singapore, the heart of untamed animals, parasites and an abundance of food - where herds of wildebeests roam free, feeding and spreading their bullshit everywhere.

I'm talking, of course, about Raffles Place MRT.

I was getting off the train from Marina Bay to alight and board a train for Paya Lebar. Of course, he wildebeests were crowding at the train door, snorting and peering thru the glass like they've never seen a man before.

But as the glass door opened, the sea of wildebeests parted. And i tot for a second - "holy shit, they're actually CIVILIZED!" But i was wrong. They werent giving way to me. They were actually giving way to a RAMPAGING FEMALE BITCH OF A RHINOCEROS.

This rhinoceros-bitch was obviously very experienced, which made her all the more dangerous. The crocs on her feet indicated a certain LACK-OF-FASHION, meaning that she didnt care how messy she got, so long as she got into the train first. Her cheap T-shirt was from a 2001 JC Sports Day. And dear gawd... the HAIR... It looked like a blowdryer went postal on it with a lawnmower and a cheese grater. Barbaric.

And she smelled of socks, ammonia, and death, obviously. The jade bangle on her hand was also a weapon to avoid.

But this was RHINO FIGHT, nevertheless.

And everyone knows - real men dont back away from a RHINO FIGHT.

Thankfully, im pretty experienced in Rhino Fights, having taken out a few old man rhinos, auntie rhinos and sometimes, the young-dressed-up-man-on-the-phone rhinos.

The keys to a RHINO FIGHT are similar to tennis:
- Keep your feet moving
- Weight off the front foot
- Eyes on the target
- Lean into the motion

And just like that, in a textbook tackle, my shoulder collided with hers and she barreled into the nearby herd of wildebeests, who ran helter-skelter from her ammonia rich stench. By the time she realized what had happened, I was already on the next train.

See ya, sucker.

Dont be a RHINO, be a RHINO FIGHTER. Fight the good fight.

inevitably...

I got into the office earlier than usual today. Nothing says "I was really sick and thus i am sincerely sorry for delaying your work and so i am here early" like showing up for work just before the manager walks in.

He walked in JUST as my ass touched the seat of my chair. Praise received and ego boosted. Now on to work.

Thankfully, the day was thoroughly made use of, as i was sent on a whirlwind tour of the site and offices and many many meetings. All of it to make up for yesterday. Submitted about 4 reports, 2 charts, a checklist, and other material submissions. Had a meeting with some china fucks. Shook hands with the head angmoh of facade MEP. Had 2 sandwiches for lunch. And defended myself from a barrage of accusations. Wrapped it all up at 630pm.

And btw, i was STILL sick. While the nose has finally stopped leaking, the phlegm is unbearable. Feel like a 90 year old man, hacking and spitting.

Anyway, fuck that.

Hit the gym for a sweat.

And on the way back, i was treated to the pleasure of serangoon's finest. They boarded the bus and instantly whipped out their phones, and started playing their bangra music. Maybe they couldnt afford earphones? But then again, most phones come with FREE earphones for their music lovers. I will take this as further proof that they steal their phones, since they only managed to snatch the phone and forgot the fucking earphones.

Holiday on Friday. Praise be the lord.

hackz and sniffles...

while the weather has been quite a bitch these last few days, at least saturday and sunday was pretty good.

On the bright side, i finally had to drag out the storm coat and use it. (mentioned in previous post)

However, unusually, for some unknown reason, it was ME who came down with a cold... Eventhough i was the most protected. I guess this proves the theory that germs are self-aware - the choose targets that provide a degree of challenge.

But while im sniffing and sneezing away, i still dragged myself to the office. After all, good things must be shared, and i know a friend or two who is in dire need of some medical leave to save them from insanity.

I coughed and hacked and sneezed my way thru 3 meetings and several piles of documents... Probably left a trail of snot all around MBS...

Gross~...

But anyhow im still alive - barely. May take mc on Tuesday and take some time to recover... We'll see.

And im still a little high frm tennis. Awesome. Played great the last few days. Ever since the lead came off, the shots have come a little more freely. Enjoying it like crazy. Let's see how long this run lasts...

jacket...

Let me get this straight.

The director calls almost every day with an assignment. My Asst Proj. Mgr is absent, so im functioning in that capacity for now. We have a new secretary, and i have to orientate her. The new Proj Mgr is also directionless and keeps asking me for drawings. And my Thursdays are spent collating data for the weekly report. And Fridays are totally spent finalizing, amending and submitted said reports.

That's about it in a nutshell.

And in other words, the Fridge has been replaced with a new one. Jasper is still useless, bcos he has exams, so he cant do ANYTHING, can't wash, can't clean, can't boil water, can't refill the water in the fridge, can't do any chores, can't do SHIT - bcos he has to study. SO FINE. Let him study. STUDY STUDY STUDY. He had better get straight As. If u study SOOOOOO much and spend SOOOOOOOO much time on it, and still cant ace anything, then seriously, you FAIL.

So that's it. That's my life in general now. Until things begin to settle, i'll be crazy mad busy.

But at least, i have time to appreciate the little things.

Firstly, i must thank dad. THANKS DAD, for giving me your Helly Hanson jacket.

Thursday evening, the sky exploded again. The downpour was INSANE. Umbrellas were torn off their sticks and even the work had to be postponed in certain parts of the site.

It was THAT heavy. Like god planted invisible pipes above our heads and just turned them on suddenly. Gushing frm the sky.

The canteen and the foyer area were FLOODED - with people. No one could leave. Bet the designer who said, "Eh, fuck it, MBS doesnt need sheltered walkways", bet he's being crucified somewhere out there. Fuck him. Useless dipshit.

ANYWAY, i stared at the sky and the rain, and went back to the office. Calmly, i strapped my duffel bag to my back and threw dad's Helly Hansen jacket over me, zipped it up to the full, and pulled the hidden hood over my head.

And while everyone was waiting there, I walked thru the foyer, towards the rain. I passed the PB inspector, who was half drenched and cowering in a corner. I waved and smiled, "See u tml." I passed our MBS Package Mgr, who constantly comes in and screams at us, as he stands there helpless. "See u too."

And while the entire site stood there and stared, i stuffed my hands into my pockets and stepped into the rain.

You cannot imagine what that feels like. It felt ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY AWESOMESAUCE.

Thanks for the jacket, dad.

call out to me...

I have been well... sorta kinda... "promoted"...

As of last week, I report mostly to the director, not the project manager anymore. The reason is simple. Cedric, the one who used to be tied to the director, is soooooooooooooo deeply mired in software programming and back-end support, that his job of project planner had to be supplanted. And who else but me? The one who designed and applied and maintained all the progress charts and other various performance measuring graphs in fanciful colors - of course it had to be me. I mean, colorful charts is what project planning is all about!

Fuck it.

Basically means i have even LESS of a life than last time. Since the director is SUPERBLY busy during the day, it means that most of our discussions start after 7pm and end... well... usually around 10pm plus.

On the flip-side, im pretty free during the days from now on. But even that novelty won't last for sure.

I recall a dinner session with 5G1G, where cj pointed out a theory on brainwaves. Apparently cheekiang's friend had entered the restaurant and was standing above him (on a balcony on top) and looking down on him. Somehow, cheekiang knew he was there and looked up. Cj theorised that it was due to the friend sending out some freaky gay-ass brainwaves and shit.

I would like to expand on that theory, because of a revelation I had today. I theorise that even INANIMATE objects, or at least VAGUELY inanimate objects, also produce their own waves, though less gay.

Allow me to illustrate via an experience of mine.

I was on the bus going back home. And i usually pass through serangoon towards balestier. Typically i would avert my eyes from the streets and focus on my blackberry. Not much scenery out there anyway. But today something different happened. I was drawn towards a particular street. For some reason, i had an urge, an overwhelming desire to gaze down that alley, and since the bus was in a bit of a jam, i stared onwards anyway.

SUDDENLY, a figure emerged from one of the buildings. I did not know who she was, except that she had huge boobs. And that her bra size wasnt exactly tight fitting, so as she catwalked on her high heels, they... well... were set in motion. Thank god for newton.

And i realized then that the boobs were actually projecting the same kind of "brainwave" that, like kiang-kiang looking at his friend, made me look at those boobs.

I will release the white papers in about a month's time.

Hehehe...

In other words, a great fridge drama has occurred. The fridge suddenly ceased to produce cold air. Dunno why. I woke up this morning and reached into the fridge for some cold water, except the water wasnt cold. It was just vaguely cool.

First reaction - CHECK MILK.

Milk was still fresh.

DRINK MILK.

Drank milk until no more left.

SAFE! ! !!

Oh well, reported it and i guess we'll be getting a new fridge soon. GOOD. It's about time that we clean out the fridge anyway.

I have also noticed this - women are actually even messier than men when in the kitchen.

OH YEAH.

I mean, i've looked into the fridges of men and the fridges of women (i used to stay in hall remember? and my ex also stayed in hall too). Whenever I look into a man's fridge, it's VERY VERY simple - Soft drink, juice, eggs (for the instant noodles) and cold water - and at most, butter and/or a loaf of bread. The man's fridge is nearly empty and ABSURDLY clean. In the freezer, u will find NOTHING. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING - not even ice. And in the crisper - one or two apples, AT MOST.

The fridge of a WOMAN, though... ugh... lemme summarize it for u. Women go grocery shopping EVERY WEEK. But each time they do, they buy a MONTH's SUPPLY of food. You do the math. And unlike men, women cant stand having the same thing over and over and over every day. Variety is the spice of life.

Give a man a fish, and he'll eat for a day. Teach a man to fish, he'll eat for a lifetime, and he'll eat it EVERY SINGLE DAY, dun care.

For a woman, one day of pasta and its done, so the leftovers are dumped in the fridge. Cycle is repeated until the fridge is congregation of fermented foods from all races, languages and religions. Kinda like Singapore - even smells like the Singapore, at least like the buses on the way back from work.

Hence, such crisis are necessary, as they make women realize just how big the fridge REALLY is. Suddenly they'll be like, "Holy shit! I had MISO here all along?!?!" "WTF!?? I had broccoli too?"

Stuff like that. You get the idea.

In other news, Ben Jelen rawks. At least for tonight. Song of the day is "Bullet with Butterfly Wings" by Smashing Pumpkins.

darko...

The movie Donne Darko is a mind-fuck. Plain and simple. I mean, usually i'll find out about a movie i like, then before i watch it in a cinema or whatever, i'll check out the storyline on themoviespolier.com. Just to see if its GOOD enough to actually warrant me paying money for it.

Usually, i'll find out exactly what i need to know. Is it in English? Who are the actors? Is the story lame? Any sex? Any violence? Any Optimus Prime (u gotta have Prime in there)? How does it end? Is it a meaningless piece of crap where the protaganist goes thru all this shit, then in the end DIES? WTF?

I tried this with a movie i heard about - Donnie Darko. It's the weirdest sci-fi story i have ever watched. And yes he died in the end. But it was different this time. Even after reading the spoilers, i was as confused as ever. Watched it. And i was still mind-fucked.

Plus, it features probably the BESTEST WINNINGEST MOST TOTALLY AWESOME AND CREEPY BUT STILL HIGHLY AMUSING HALLOWEEN COSTUME EVER.

Go watch it.

Donnie Darko.

Jena Malone is hot too.

Once again, Friday is maddening rush for reports to prep for Saturday's Presentation. While i am playing a piano concerto on my laptop, the other SMs are scurrying about. This Friday is one to be remembered. The hopeless look on the Project Manager was one to remember. Eyebrows raised and mouth agap. I wish i had taken a picture.

Then i swoop in and save him. And he's all like "Thank you thank you thank you." Of course, the info was there all along. I just knew where to find it. This is what you get when u actually PAY ATTENTION during the seminars...

... which is highly amusing bcos i never paid attention in my uni days. I was the first one, first out - as in LIGHTS OUT. I'd be there at 830am, before the lecture starts, with my coffee and notes, and i remembered taking a long gulp of the strong coffee and immediately breaking out into a yawn.

Ironic that the person who sleeps, is now attending the most meetings and doing most of the documentation. I should go back to that chinese temple and let the monk know that someone fucked up my fortune telling.

As per the discussion with Nicholas (our director), the other day, which lasted WELL past 10pm, I will most likely be shifting my focus towards HIS assignments. Mostly, progress tracking, PrimaVera programming and claims. Basically, MONEY. I hate dealing with money - bcos its always so messy and pple are always DICKS when it comes to stuff like that. Operations - fine. Administration - fine. Finance? Fuck that.

But i will be going in the that direction. So fuck it. Here we go.

tic toc tic talk...

All this while i've heard of pple with Tourette's syndrome. And we've all seen the films on Southpark or on youtube watevea... Pple who rhythmatically let out uncontrollable bursts of vocabulary, usually obscene remarks.

So a guy with Tourette's would walk down the road and let out a "FUCK!" or "SHIT!" every 10 seconds or so.

And i knew this was FAKE. I mean, it's a motorised muscule function. I dont think there's such a mechanism for those SPECIFIC words. I would prefer to think that the human body doesnt have a specific function for use only for "FUCK!"

But i was WRONG.

Finally got a first hand glimpse at a real life Tourette's patient.

Was standing in the MRT when this guy walks in, dressed in a thin t-shirt with another shirt over it, carrying a laptop. Looked utterly normal, except that i noticed he was twitching.

Oh yes.

Twitching like you see in the movies when a guy is hearing ghostly voices and going crazzzzzzzzy from them. Something like that. Strange. And i was preparing myself physically for the potential situation where I might have to fight off a psychotic lunatic who was tuning into the Sadako soundtrack.

Then came the first outburst, or tic as the call them in Tourette's vocab.

"Fuck!" he screamed, immediately with a muffled apology. And the best part is - Tourette's is made WORSE when the patient is stressed.

5 seconds later - "Shit!"

5 seconds later - "Uargh!"

5 seconds later - "Fuck!"

5 seconds later - "Ssh-shit!"

And a stream of continuous vulgarities separated by the exact 5 second delay. He makes a good clock, but not the kind u want in ur childrens' bedroom.

Anyway, he got off at the next stop (Orchard), so beware of Tourette's. It's real. And pretty fucking hilarious too.

Back to work.

Tennis was awesome btw.

Ice cream too. Bought 3 quarts of Baskin Robbins over the weekend back in JB. Hopefully it'll help bring jasper and oliver back home.

Flavors are inspiring too. I have a talent for picking icecream flavors they say.