eternal sunshine of the spotless mind = 3 cans of redbull at 1030pm

Desperate times call for desperate measures. Unfortunately i usually underestimate the long-term effects. The following is a warped recollection of mindless useless activity... and i call myself a sportsperson... heh.

It's Monday night. And im pissed. As usual. But this time, a little more than usual. The boss called at around 9pm. There's a meeting on Tuesday morning, 10am. And they need some paper. Paper with words and figures and some random colored bars and lines (students call them GRAPHS).

I launch into a tirade about how that's fucking impossible. But apparently, im mr superman.

And i just got back from gym, a particularly taxing session at that too. Basically, i had tortured myself to near paraplegic state that day and only survived bcos i managed to flag a taxi with my twitching tongue.

I want to sleep. But i cant. Eyes say "Sleep, sonny boy, sleep." And suddenly they weigh down like lead weights.

Fuck it.

I head down to the cheers and buy 3 cans of Redbull. No, not the Kraetingduong (is that correct?) original redbull, im talking about the BLUE and SILVER stuff. Oh yeah.

As i leave the cashier, i immediately down one can. Paraplegic state regresses. Awesome. I take another. Paraplegic state CURED!

It's a little past 9pm. Time to work. I have about 20 pdfs to go thru. Just im done with all of them, i finish the final can. It is exactly 1030pm. I remember that clearly. CLEARLY. 3 CANS OF REDBULL - trust me i remember. WILL THE GUY OUTSIDE PLS SHUT THE HELL UP, YOU DONT HAVE TO SLAM THE PIECES ON THE BOARD WHEN U PLAY CHESS U RETARD!!

As with most of my work exploits, i have tendency to overestimate how difficult a job is. Turns out this presentation is pretty easy to do actually. I finish in about 35min. Exactly.

(By the way, from this point on, do not doubt any numbers i post - i remember them clearly.)

Hehehe...

So suddenly im in a HUGE pile of crap trouble. It's 1030pm. Im done with my work. But the Redbull is fresh in the system. The caffeine is overloading me.

Redbull gives you wings - but it doesnt tell you how to fly.

I am suddenly seized with an urge to clean. I wipe the floor, dust my laptop, clear the aircon filters. I even go to the balcony and feel up all the clothes, just to see if any of them are dry. Of course not, i just washed them at 830pm.

Im so screwed.

I pick up the racquet and begin to shadow swing - in the pitch black, at 1130pm at night. With eyes the size of saucer plates. It doesnt help. After 100 forehand swings, 100 backhand swings, 25 slice swings, 14 serve swings and 18 volley swings, i put the racquet away. Im afraid i will lose my grip and smack myself in the face, leaving me a horrendous mess on the living room floor, and undoubtedly give my (hawt) cousin a lively start to the coming morning.

I change and decide to head for the streets for a walk.

I head out and walk 300m down balestier road before realizing my shirt is on backwards. Awesome.

Another 300m, i feel stupid. Why the hell did i want to walk anyway.

I go back to the apartment. I make some toast. I watch tennis, craig ferguson and the indian wells highlights - all at the same time.

I cant stand it.

I take out all the tennis balls that were wet from the saturday and sunday rain-tennis session and leave them out to dry.

I rearrange my wardrobe - now all my shirts are sorted according to color. Serious.

I clean my shoes. I NEVER CLEAN MY SHOES. But i clean my shoes. They're clean now.

I return to the computer. Nothing to do. Everything is boring as fuck now.

I look at the clock - 3am.

Oh god no... One and half more hours until i finally manage to close my eyes.

The clock rings at 630am. I am a wreck. The experience is like a jackhammer to a clock, my body clock. Thankfully, im not involved in the meeting, and i spend most of the morning in drowsy stupor in the corner of the office.

And it's only TUESDAY.