breasts...

Did i get your attention? GOOD.

Well, YES, this is about breasts. And its about my little bro. And no, didnt catch him surfing porn. That'd be fucking awkward.

Anyway, Jasper got sick. And knowing him, he probably hasnt has enough water or hasnt had a decent homecooked meal. The nervous smses from mom did help make me feel any better.

But thankfully, i had recently gone on a FRESH MEAT spree. I actually knocked off frm work a little earlier than usual (630pm). And immediately rushed over to the nearest Fairprice and bought loads of stuff for cooking.

I bought a shaker of steak seasoning, butter, Sweet Corn, a BIG slab of salmon, 2 packs of frozen unagi (jap eel) and, lastly, 2 packs of frozen chicken breast (yeah, NOW you know why the title says Breasts. Sorry to burst your bubble, pervs).

Within 2-3 days, the salmon and unagi was gone. The salmon was HEAVEN. Defrosted it and applied generous amounts of steak seasoning. Then lightly panfried on medium-low heat until glazed. Then turn off the heat and cover, but not before dropping a small piece of butter on top. Let it simmer in the fish juice for a few minutes and TADAA, Slacker's Salmon Steak. It took me a grand total of 20min to make it.

BACK TO THE TOPIC - Jasper was sick and i wanted to cook him something HOT, instead of the usual warm MacDonalds or watever that he eats.

Defrosted the chicken for 2-3min, until the edges of the chicken begin to turn a little white. Once, again, STEAK SEASONING, to the rescue!! Applied on both sides and made a small 'pocket' in each fillet into which u add - a small piece of butter and a little HONEY (oh yes, this is gonna be GOOD).

I also had a jar of Pasta Sauce, frm abt 5 days ago, when i was eating ham and sausage with pasta sauce. Heated that up for abt a min in the microwave and set aside.

Now, put the chicken back in the microwave, on a hard microwaveable ceramic plate - the reason being that ceramic plates absorb microwaves and basically, turn into a pseudo-grill for the chicken, which will leave a MINOR, browning effect. Of course, this will depend on your microwave oven and its power level. Put a semi-permeable lid over the chicken. What do i mean? U could use a loosely placed ceramic lid, or glass. How loose you make the lid will effect how dry the chicken will become.

Cook on 70% power for 4 min. This was tikam tikam one. I theorized this based on the fact that instant pasta usually recommended abt 4min cooking time. I also observed that my instant pasta was frequently overcooked (pasta hard, and sauce a little dry), so i turned it down to 70% power.

RIGHT ON THE MONEY!! Ngam-ngam, as they say.

Take the chicken out, sprinkle a little pepper, or grated cheese, or watever u want, and top off with the pasta sauce.

Fed this to jasper as an experiment, and he was like, "You made this yourself??"

Yeah, with a microwave.

"WTF?"

free F1...

A little over 7 days have passed since i last blogged. And its been mainly due to the barrage of work that has flooded over this place.

Thanks to Hari Raya and Faizal coming down with the Chickenpox (lucky bastard), a ton of work has been sent flying in my direction.

Meeting on Saturday was VERY mellow. Mr Khoo wasnt there to stir the pot so MBS guys were just asking cedric and I a few minor questions and told us to check up on this and that... blah blah blah...

Then i hopped on a bus and went back to JB for a quick lunch and dinner with mom. Nothing better to do since that bugger zs betrayed me and went home.

Pigged out on sushi and thai food. I have a new place to bring the guys to next time.

Got a free look at the F1 Warm Up on Friday night. The whole gang of us climbed to the top of Hotel Tower 3 to watch the cars go by. ABSOLUTELY NOTHING SPECIAL ABOUT THE DAMN THING. The track is sooooooooo fucking narrow that there's no room to overtake! Even curring corners is SLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW.

Anyway, that didnt stop it from causing a massive jam.

Tennis on Sunday was okay. I am NOT playing as well as i used to. SOMETHING IS WRONG. But serves were exceptionally good today. I have no idea why. It is screwed up - this form of mine.

I had some controversial topic to talk abt but now i've forgotten. Fuck it. It'll come later.

Chilli Crab is British...

So we were driving back home in the SNAZZY new Toyota Vios TRD, when the conversation picks up a controversial topic.

I think we all know about the recent malaysian food claims. Malaysia now claims that Hainanese chicken rice, chilli crab, nasi lemak, bak ku teh and laksa, among others, belong to THEM. Singapore APPARENTLY doesnt give a shit. I mean, the minister basically said, "Whatever~~... just as long as they recognize that there is a Singapore version." Which is utter BULLSHIT.

I mean Malaysian version and Singapore version?? WTF? "Excuse me, miss, can i have some Chilli Crab, Malaysian Version 1.1?" LOLZ... I bet they're thinking, "Chilli Crab Version Singapore XP Professional."

Bastards, as if we needed more things to sour the relationship.

IMO, there is no owner, bcos simply put, Singapore WAS Malaysia ANYWAY. I mean the self-professed inventor of Chilli Crab Roland Lim (from the New Paper), made a dead giveaway. He claimed that "Chilli Crab has been around for 59 years." AH HA!!! That was while Singapore was still under the BRITISH. Therefore, hence, ergo, (and other concluding statements), Chilli Crab is BRITISH.

If that fits your definition.

On the other hand, Jasper offered the SIMPLEST method of deciding.

"Singapore Chicken rice sux. Singapore Chilli Crab sux. Singapore Bak Ku Teh sux. Singapore Nasi Lemak sux. Singapore laksa sux. It's all better in Malaysia, hence it should be Malaysian."

Highly debateable, but still food for thought (pardon the wit).

How can you claim that something belongs to you if you cant even do it right??

I mean, i have tried Bak Ku Teh ALL OVER SINGAPORE. I tried in Woodlands, in Orchard, in Clementi, in Tampines... and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, THE BAK-KU-TEH IN SINGAPORE F-ING SUX!! And a few times i sneaked a peek into the kitchen and into the cauldron of soup there and GUESS WHAT? Pre-packaged soup packets that you can buy in the supermarket. I guess THAT's the Singapore version eh? EPIC FAIL TO YOU.

And i've tried Singapore chicken rice and it SUX to the epic extreme too. I mean the rice is still WHITE! WTF CHICKEN RICE IS THAT!!?!?!?!!??? But also, isnt it called HAINANESE CHICKEN RICE??? So shouldnt it have come from motherfucking HAINAN???!?!?!??? Helloooooooooooo~~~????

It's too bad that these terms werent decided during the great split of Singapore from Malaysia. Just like any good divorce, the assets have to be divided - and these were left out. TOO BAD FOR MALAYSIA.

And most importantly of all, it is FAR TOO LATE for Malaysia to do anything now. It's already internationally tot of that Chilli Crabs come from Singapore (as if they're a species of crab that lives in Sentosa). It's like Apple finally proving to the world that their Macs are head and shoulders above the Microsoft PC - TOO LATE BUDDY.

I would like to know how Malaysia intends to fight this out.

And best of all, i would like to know how Singapore intends to defend its food too.

Chilli Crab is British. You heard it here FIRST.

random word generator

Bored as fuck, bcos im waiting for the semis of the US Open to come on, im mindlessly surfing. And guess wat? I ran out of things to surf for. I youtubed some highlights, watched a music vid, previewed a couple of movie trailers, listened to some music, laughed at pple on STOMP, facebooked (but posted nothing), webcomics, a little work, checked some email... and BAM, i was done.

So i flipped onto a random word generator, into which i commanded it to generate a Noun of Average usage.

The returned result was: "Flipper".

Now flipper can refer to a few things.

Firstly, flipper can refer to that thing u use to keep the ball frm going down the chute in pinball. I've played that game almost all my microsoft life. And i SUCKS that i only discovered a few years ago, that there were actually MISSIONS in that game. SHIT. And all this time i tot going into the hyperspace tube automatically got you the highest points. And if it makes any sense, nobody ever uses the "bang the table" button - tried that too many times ang got penalized for it. Fucking useless.

Also, Flipper can refer to the friendly neighbourhood dolphin. Flipper saves pple. For obvious reasons. Pple feed him, so he gotta keep'em alive else he aint food no more. In the future, Flipper will become the emperor of the world, when polar icecaps melt and sea levels rise, Flipper will emerge as the last remaining hero in this world. Except maybe Batman, no one fucks around with Batman.

But in more RECENT times, Flipper has been in a state of panic. And while i am loathe to act like a tree-hugging environmentalist, Flipper's mates are in danger. They is being turned into fish bait.

I am of course referring to the famous and controversial film, The Cove. A film shot in secret using hidden cameras and stealth microphones.

No, it's not about the dark underbelly of Flipper's nightlife. Heh. WTF mann... And no it aint the latest in Voyeurism.

It's a documentary. In Japan. And nope, it's not anime.

Its abt the slaughtering of dolphins in the hidden seaside coves to fuel the market for dolphin meat. As simplistic and "green" as it is - it isnt. The locals are like they came straight out of The Village, they oppose anyone who would dare threaten their livlihood. Even the police attempted to stop filming.

But never underestimate the Americans. THEY MADE MISSION IMPOSSIBLE, BITCH! Beat That! HAH!

They got all their hidden gadgetry and high tech gizmo together and infiltrated the enemy bases.

(Actually they just put on scuba gear and swam underneath them and planted cameras under rocks to upskirt any dolphins and divers. 'Nuff said.)

So now im dying to watch that film. But i cant seem to find it. Guess i'll get dad to check the local... *ahem*... stores.

uh-oh...

Holy shit, i just realized that in a 5 day work-week, i get less than 24 hrs of sleep!!! I get abt 20 hrs!! I am gg insane!

the fellowship of the ring in modern day singapore...

Those who have read the book will understand what the title means.

That was the first thought as my boots hit the soft muddy ground, and sunk in until water soaked my socks. The chamber stank of mold and dampness. All around, dripping water and the splashing of boots echoed, and while these events were small and insignificant, the long and winding chamber of stone amplified it, bringing it to the baritone grandeur fit for the Royal Albert Hall.

In the middle of this chamber ran two metal snakes, each a meter in diameter, side-by-side, snaking their way through the chamber. And they bore scars - numbers etched in chalk along them, depicting part numbers, fitting schedules and date of import, like the last scratchings of dead messengers from times long past.

Something hits my head. It is a small slab of stone. Appropriately, the chamber is not as safe as it is labelled to be. The stone hits the water spraying foul liquid all over me pants.

And then the ground drops off suddenly and in a split second, i am up to my shins in water. So much for keeping the pants dry.

Indian workers holler from up ahead and the air is getting dustier.

As we move from the wetness of the chamber to its drier areas, you can sense the temperature is rising, moving from the chillness of a flood, to acrid harshness of a mining colony.

They are welding the pipes up ahead. And the metal snakes, which started at one end, are still growing at the other, and like dragons, they spew red hot sparks from their mouths as the workers weld more sections into their scales.

But it is here at the mouth of serpent, that the chamber ends. And like in the movie, the confined space suddenly gives way to open flatness.

Huge pillars rise from the depths to almost three storeys in height. And at once, everything seems small. I tell myself, I am in Moria. And i am almost tempted to summon a Balrog from the depths. How they will report the Balrog in B5, i am almost too amused to consider.

The only passage to the world above is a small elevator. 2m by 4m. It is all that will save us from being imprisoned in this dark chasm. A pile hits the ground somewhere above and dust shakes from the ceiling far far far above. Lights flicker. Work halts for a microsecond.

I take the lift and head upwards, the cold metal box is comforting in its own way.

And i am done with this place. The halls of Modern Day Moria can stay like that a little while longer.

Now on to the Three Towers...

brief movies...

Ok ok, seeing as how Sarah just mentioned something abt The Proposal, it got me thinking abt some movies.

I know i know, i think i made a post abt this before. I think i named a few great scenes frm a few movies i loved. The link is HERE. Good times.

Anyway, this is to CONTINUE that. Except, i'll keep it a little SHORTER. Just a LINE from a movie that i like.

I'll run them off the top of my head.


ETERNAL SUNSHINE OF THE SPOTLESS MIND - By Joel, as he sees Clementine acknowlege him by lifting her cup of coffee in his direction.
"Why do I fall in love with every woman I see who shows me the least bit of attention?"

AS GOOD AS IT GETS - By Melvin Udall, when asked about how he knows about women so well.
"I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability."

BREAKFAST AT TIFFANY'S - By Holly Golightly, as Paul inquires about her disapproval, as she sprays perfume into his face.
"Tough beans, buddy, 'cause that's the why it's gonna be."

F.E.A.R. (Ok, this is a computer game, but seriously, it could've been a great movie) - By a recorded a tearful Harlan Wade, moments before the daughter he imprisoned in a cryotube, emerges and tears him to shreds.
"It is the way of men to make monsters, and it is the nature of monsters to destroy their makers."

LOTR: THE TWO TOWERS - By Theoden, as he surveys he contemplates his fortress being overrun by the Orcs of Mordor.
"What can men do against such reckless hate?"

THE BLACK CAULDRON (This disney cartoon is special to me. It was released the same year i was born and has perhaps the most sinister cartoon villian EVER. Check it out.) By Dallben, as he laments on young Taran. By the way, Taran finds a magical sword, rescues a princess, finds world threatening artefact, makes friends, invades castle, saves princess again, kills evil badass king AND manages to keep his pet pig alive through it all... all in a span of wat, 2-3 days?
"So much so soon, to rest on his young shoulders."

PULP FICTION - By Captain Koons, as he retells the story of how a priceless watch ended up in his care to be given to the son of a friend of his. Watch it here.
"The way your daddy looked at it, this watch was your birthright."

GIGLI - By Christopher Walken's character. Other than the sexy Jennifer Lopez, this ONE scene is the only reason to watch it. Here, Walken talks about how he WANTS PIE.
"Put some on your head! Your tongue'd slap your brains out trying to get to it!"

Ok, it's almost 1am. Enough of the movies.

they dont allow umbrellas on-site...

At first i thought the building was going to collapse. The cracking came from overhead, like a thousand steel beams crashing down. And i trembled. Verily I did.

The fluorescent lights flickered, but only for a moment. I feel rubble on my face. It is dark and cruel here in the belly of the concrete structure. In a few months time, this place will be a lavish hall, with thick carpets soaking up the wine of the rich and glamorous as they spill it on the hotel floor in the merry dances and drunken stupors. But for now, it is a pit, a hell hole, thick with dust and no oxygen. You cant open ur eyes for fear of blindness and u dare not call out lest to swallow the particles. The ground is uneven and perilous. There are slab openings everywhere, covered with thin ply wood, with hardly any warning. One wrong step or a stupid decision could send u plummeting to the solid cement below, and your ghost will haunt the future carpark.

And they said I never climbed Everest.

My partner signals to me. It's over, he says, Let's get out of here.

We emerge to the sunlight and for a while i am dazed. The clear blue sky, was now a swirling mass of blackness.

Seemed like the end of the world. And here I was, wearing an old nike polo, in PDI jeans, wearing a safety helmet and in safety shoes, and standing in the middle of a fucking construction site.

Symbolic racism, i thought to myself - for as i watched, hundreds of white helmets were scrambling back to the office. The yellow and red helmets carried on, working in the middle of the kicking winds, thinning air and approaching storm. I supposed i should say something abt growing up in Bangladesh, but that would be highly inappropriate.

The white helmetted management staff are screaming to run faster. The storm has started on the far side of the Sands resort. I am at once beset by the enormity of the project.

Running in safety shoes will kill you, and I am in no hurry to return. After my venture into the basement, i have now to survey a different skeleton.

As I step into the bald structure, the thunder bellows once more, sending the scaffolding shaking and more dust seeps from the ceiling. The structure is like a lobotomised patient, the building a huge circular maze, except that the centre is a hollow cavity 4 storeys deep. And there in the centre, is to be Casino Floor.

For now it is a cess-pool, a spawning hive of disease and algae, where rain water collects and festers the stone, and through which the yellow boots of workers thread. The rain will bring new blood to it. I scribble a few notes in my book, this cannot continue.

The sky is now about to explode. The lightning is flashing and the cranes are swaying in the winds. The thunder, like an unfed infant, is crying out with greater and greater intensity.

And now it is time for my retreat. My boots splash through the puddles and i feel mud on my cheek. Another manager shoves past me.

As i pass the exhibition hall, the shit hits the fan. The sky explodes. But it does so with the most magnificent of silences. There is a brief pause, as though everyone knows it is about to happen. And wind doesnt move and the footsteps cease.

And the precipitation coats the land with thundering applause. Whether they like it or not, all are part of this grand instrumentation.

And my footsteps quicken again. Hurriedly, i rush. I can feel the rain on my back. The sensation is bewildering and refreshing.

I reach the shelter and exhale with a flourish. It's as if i havent breathed for the last hour.

And the phone rings.

Work as usual.