many fails...

I think there's something in the air today. Or maybe it's one of those times of the year where peoples' brains go backward, electric pulses lose meaning, corrupted by iPod rubbish.

Or maybe its just me.

Passing through the Singapore customs, in front of me are two people, an American and a china guy. Now the american is all muscles and shit, singlet and cap and huge duffel bag, which likely contains a ton of guns and bazookas which he'll whip out the moment someone tries to take hostage of a train or something. The china guy looks like he's just escaped from a Nike sweatshop, he's all sweating like crazy, or maybe he's taking drugs, or maybe he MAKES drugs. Ah wahtever, he's sweating like a pig in heat. And he's carrying the world's smallest duffel bag i have ever seen. I mean, i went to a nike shop and bought the SMALLEST size duffel bag available, which is the one most people have seen me carrying. But THIS one was even smaller. If u'd put an evian bottle inside, you'd probably have a hard time closing the zipper.

And as fate would have it, the officers stopped BOTH. To my utter surprise the ang moh was carrying nothing except CLOTHES and a laptop. N-n-n-no missiles??

Well, there were "missiles", just not the type i'd expected. The officers now open the China man's bag and take out a missile. Long and green. And uncharacteristically smooth. The dumb-fucker officer, didnt know what it was. The American was already giggling.

Im sure u guys can guess. Yeap. Dear friends, a vibrator has entered the building.

The poor china man had to spell it out to the officer, before the idiot put it back in. Officer fail. Probably wasnt *that* experienced after all.

Now im on my way back from tennis. And i've heard/seen many instances where the fucked up idiots from bangladesh walk around town with their handphones blaring bangra music.

Now i have seen the *other* kind. Was standing on the bus, and then i realize that im listening to a fucking old shanghai song or something... Guy is singing in cantonese. Fucking stupid and damn loud. And in a bus full of malays and vietnamese... WTF.

Turns out it was this 50 year old guy next to me. When i turned to look at him, he noticed me and immediately got embarrassed, probably bcos he forgot his headphones but NEEDS to listen to this song. It's like audible viagra, most likely. FUCK U la, retarded old fuck.

Well, he's so embarrassed he immediately raises the phone to his ears and pretends to be answering a call... ... WITH THE SONG STILL PLAYING AND BLARING INTO HIS EARS.

And pls dun forget that the music is ABSO-FUCKING-LUTELY LOUD. Hope this old pretender goes deaf. Pretend fail.