misleading dresses...

How noob am i?? I didnt know that u could actually import a blog into facebook. And all this time i saw blog posts that i had read being posted as notes on fb, i was always thinking, "That's retarded. The bloke actually bothered to type out the entire thing AGAIN on a note and post it on fb? WTF mann..."

Turns out i was the numbskull. But enough of numbskullishness (new word).

I was put into a precarious situation today (is that how u spell precarious?), on the MRT. As we all know, utterly bored and totally useless pple have been taking pictures of pple sitting on the labelled "Priority Seats" on the MRT and posting them on STOMP, seeking some sort of self-righteous retribution. These seats have now become HELPLESS PPLE SEATS. Only the trully helpless can use these - the old, the pregnant and the lame.

With all due respect, i can be pretty lame too. Does this mean everytime i say a lame joke, i get to use that seat?

Well, fuck it.

This is how it goes, u idiots, you can use those fucking seats as long as there's no old, pregnant or lame pple around. The seats are not ment to be empty and pple standing around, afraid to sit on them. That's stupid. Plain ol' stupid.

Well, on to my precarious situation.

I was sitting in said Priority Seat, on the way back home frm a frutitious session of tennis. When suddenly, i realize that there's a pregnant lady standing in front of me.

Or is she??

I have no idea.

It wouldve been easier if the lady was pregnant and maybe into a third trimester or something (im pretty sure i got the terms wrong, but i mean "heavily pregnant"). But this lady had a big tummy, big enuff to LOOK like she was pregnant, but still, it was small enuff for me to think that, "Nahz, she's just plain fat."

So im looking and wondering, "WTF should i do? Should i ASK her??"

God forbid i do that. If it turns out she's NOT pregnant... LOLz... it would be hilarious. But she was wearing one of those dresses. The ones that look like THIS, except with the skirt shorter.

On a side note, if any of u girls ever wear something like this, i will AUTOMATICALLY assume u are pregnant, and say that u are. Bcos it's retarded. If u're not pregnant, dont wear a fucking pregnancy dress, or even wear a dress REMOTELY resembling one. It will attract the wrong type of questions.

ANYWAY, i decided to stand up anyway, since my stop was 2 stations away. This is a trial and error method. Bcos if she was pregnant, she would probably say Thank You, and sit down. But if she wasnt, then... well... nothing.

Well, she said Thank You, then she sat down. And as she sat down, that huge protruding belly turned into 2 SPARE TYRES.

I dont think that happens when u're pregnant, not even twins will get u double spare tyres.

So... SHIT, she wasnt pregnant after all. Bloody hell.

Kena conned by that fat auntie. Hope her gut explodes while she's chowing down on her cha kway tiao.